All characters used in this belong to William Shakespeare 
and his production company or else they belong to Chris 
Carter (go Vikes!) and Ten-Thirteen Productions and Fox 
and whomever else. If you choose to sue me, it'll be your 
loss, since I have nothing worth taking except for a case of 
Mountain Dew and my XF tapes. Yes, I know this doesn't 
go along with the actual development of the XF, but this 
was really an English assignment; I was told to rewrite Act 
I. This story was finished early April 1st, and uploaded to 
EMXC late May 28th, then uploaded again in the early 
afternoon on July 7th, since something must have happened 
to the first upload. The following work is for the 
distribution and entertainment of EMXC members only. 
Any further distribution of this work without the author's 
consent (that's me) is in violation of federal law. I promise 
you that if you ask to send it out, I will let you. But you 
have to ask.
* denotes emphasis, ** denotes thought.

"The Shakespeare is Out There"

By Joy R. Skeldon (jskeldon@cloudnet.com)


     Let's imagine that Romeo & Juliet are not the 
children of feuding families in fair Verona, but rather FBI 
agents in magnificent Washington, D.C.  Agent Dana 
Capulet is a medical graduate-turned-Agent and is doing 
paperwork (scut work) in Washington. She wants to get her 
hands dirty, into some interesting cases, but her boss, Agent 
"Nurse" Blevins, won't let her.  Little does she know she's 
about to become paired with the oddest agent of them all: 
Agent Fox Montague, an Oxford alumni, who is in the field, 
working in the Violent Crimes Unit, though his real interest 
lies with the paranormal:  with the X-Files...

     "Capulet!" Dana Capulet heard her name bellowed.  
She turned and walked towards her supervisor's office,  
trying keep herself composed even though she was 
practically trembling inside.
     "Yes, sir," she replied, her eyes piercing those of her 
supervisor, Agent Blevins.
     "I do hope you are planning to attend the party at 
the Hoover home tonight.  You'll need some connections if 
you plan to go anywhere in the FBI.  A party is the best 
place to make them...and besides," he added, eyeing her 
critically, "I have some news for you tomorrow--and no, I 
will not tell you what it is today.  If you want to keep the 
new job, you'll want to impress some people tonight."
     "A party?" Dana inquired, knowing she wouldn't get 
any more information on the job tonight.
     "A ball, actually.  One of those big deals where you 
get dressed up and try not to think about the fact that the 
punch was spiked by an AIT, and at the end, you get fend 
off a drunk person who wants to give you a ride home and 
cop a feel."
     "A drunk person?  Gee, I hope it's a guy.  This 
sounds... sophomoric," Dana sighed. "Oh, by the way, 
thanks for the advance notice.  See you tonight, Sir."  
Capulet walked out of the room.
     "Just enjoy the 'normal' people while you can," 
Blevins said to the departed Capulet, as the figure in the 
corner of the room listened in.  "The folks who aren't 
nicknamed 'Spooky.' " The wrinkled man in the corner lit up 
a cigarette and nodded to Blevins.

**********

     Fox "Spooky" Montague couldn't have known his 
life was about to change.  He was too busy feeling 
depressed, since Rosaline Green just dumped him...again.  
Rosaline couldn't deal with Fox's obsession with his 
abducted sister, Samantha.  Montague believed Samantha 
had been abducted by aliens.  Rosaline understood that, but 
didn't like playing second fiddle to a missing sister.  She told 
Montague to call her when he was over Sam's absence.  
What Rosaline didn't understand was that Samantha's 
abduction made Montague what he was.  Who he was 
trying to become:  the person who would rescue his sister.  
If his sister had not been abducted, Montague would have 
been a different person altogether.  There would be only one 
woman in the world who could help him in his quest to find 
Samantha, and he had thought it was Rosaline.
     Fox decided to call in to work sick, too depressed to 
think about serial killers and the like; but Assistant Director 
Benvolio S. Skinner had other plans.  The AD picked up the 
phone and dialed Montague's number.
     The recorded monotone that was Montague 
answered Skinner.  "Hi.....you've reached Montague's 
machine.....leave a tone at the messa--" Montague picked 
up, cutting the machine off.  "I'm here."
     "Agent Montague, you are not sick. You're probably 
still heartbroken over that Green agent." Skinner knew 
about Rosaline.  Everyone knew about Rosaline.  
"Montague, I'm going to give you some free advice:  forget 
her.  In less then twenty-four hours she is going to return to 
England, and she'll never see or talk to you again."  On the 
other end, Montague sighed, barely listening to the AD. 
Skinner knew he was getting less then nowhere.  "There's an 
FBI 'gathering' going on tonight.  It will probably turn into a 
good-bye party for Rosaline, but you could leave then.  
When you see her with all the other *prettier* female agents 
around, you won't even notice her!"
     "Fat chance of that happening...." Montague 
mumbled.  "Why didn't I know about this before?"
     "You're not exactly in the loop of, uh, *regular* 
goings-on, Montague."
     "Good point," Montague said simply.
     Skinner grimaced....**well, at least he accepts 
it**.... "Now listen to me, Agent Montague. You are going 
to go meet me at that party and you are going to forget 
completely about Rosaline. At the end of the night, I will 
ask you if you miss Rosaline, and you will say 'Rosaline? 
Who's Ro--Oh, yeah, her, no, I'm doing just fine without 
her'. Do you understand?"
     "I just love it when you get rough with me."  
Skinner was about to reprimand Fox again when he heard 
the -click- of Montague hanging up and then the dial tone 
buzzing in his ear.

**********

     Dana looked at herself in the mirror.  She was 
wearing a green dress suit and low-heeled shoes.  "C'mon, 
Capulet, go wild!" the left side of her brain ordered.  "No, 
Dana. This is a business party," her right side chided.  "How 
else do you expect to *meet* men?" the left side demanded 
to know.  "Geez," said Dana, the person, "You guys sound 
like Mom and Dad."

**********

     Montague took his suit out of the dry-cleaners bag.  
"I am *not* wearing this tonight." He let the suit drop on 
the floor and pulled a deep blue dress shirt and navy slacks 
with a matching jacket out of his closet, but "No tie."  He 
combed his hair and left his apartment for the party.

**********

     Montague arrived at the party fashionably late; only 
he wasn't trying to be fashionable, and it didn't come off that 
way.  He could hear the gasps of astonishment at his 
presence.  Everything from "Oh look, it's Spooky," to the 
always imaginative "What the hell is he doing here?  Aren't 
there aliens somewhere that need catching?"  Montague 
didn't miss the *expression* on Tybalt Colton's face.  The 
expression of pure hatred.  He met up with Skinner, who 
was looking simply smashing in a charcoal suit and blue and 
red striped tie with a red handkerchief peeking out of his 
breast pocket, his bald head shining proudly.  "Sorry I'm 
late. I shoulda taken the right at Albuquerque.  Nice hankie.  
I'm coming down with a cold and I'm glad you brought it 
for me."
     "Would you cut the crap?" said an agitated Skinner.
     "Oooooh, someone's PMS-y....look, there's 
Rosaline," Montague suddenly panicked.  "I can't stay here 
with her around."
     "Well that's just too damn bad, because you're going 
to."
     But Montague was already gone.  He left Skinner's 
side and retreated behind a nearby pillar. Montague inhaled 
and exhaled  He knew that Rosaline was just a woman; he 
just seemed unable to accept that.  He heard a woman 
cursing to herself from the other side and turned, only to 
look into the most shocking blue eyes he had ever seen.
     She was wearing a breezy light blue dress that 
covered almost every inch of her body, but still showed off 
all she had to offer.  Her hair, curled to softly frame her 
face, was burnt red--the kind of red you know she hated as 
a kid, but loves to flaunt now.  For one moment, the two 
just looked at each other.  She spoke first: "Hi."
     Montague remembered how to talk and replied, 
"Hey, how's it going?"  He even smiled. Montague knew as 
soon as the woman spoke that this was the one to help him 
find Sam.
     Dana looked at him and indicated with her eyes that 
he was about to be privy to a secret.  "I absolutely hate 
these things."
     Montague replied, "Me, too. They want you be, 
well, parading seals, and if your outfit wouldn't make 
Blackwell's, then you're screwed."
     "You know, that's exactly what it is.  I'm supposed 
to be assigned this new job tomorrow and Blevins wants me 
to impress some higher-ups...like I really care about any of 
them," she rolled her eyes.
     Montague once again felt an instant connection with 
this woman.  No, wait, their hands were pressed against 
each other.  But he still felt a connection.  "You know," he 
said, being the oh-so-slick guy he was, "it would be really 
taboo if we kissed right here."
     Dana was surprised.  "Taboo is the word. As in, not 
to be done."
     Montague felt the urge to argue with her about this 
minute point.  "Do you always do what people tell you to 
do?  Stay within the realm of acceptance?  Status pro quo 
and nothing more?"
     Dana felt her ears grow hot.  "Well, no--no, I don't.  
I try to be direct about how I feel and what I think."  His 
eyes were asking her, "What are you thinking now?" 
Montague leaned in and gently kissed her on the lips.  He 
pulled back, noting she didn't restrain him, and watched her 
for a reaction.
     Dana's first reaction was a mental "Wow....," but 
obviously she couldn't share this thought with the mystery 
man, so instead she tempted, "You already sinned, you 
might as well do it again." They shared a smile as they both 
leaned in and as their lips were about to touch again, a 
drunk Agent Blevins came looking for Dana.
     "Oh Dana! Where ever are you?"
     Dana saw that Blevins needed a cab, so she 
whispered to this mystery man, "I've got to go."
     Montague understood, and watched her leave, 
entranced, until Skinner walked up behind him. 
"Socializing?"
     "You could call it that," Montague replied.
     "Oh, by the way, that woman you were talking to--
she's going to be your new partner.  Dana Capulet.  Your 
connections in Congress finally gave you the ability to work 
on the X-Files without our being able to butt in."
     "You're joking!  *That's* Dana Capulet?  The Ice 
Princess is going to be *my* new partner in the X-Files?"

**********

     As Agent Capulet waited with Agent Blevins in the 
cold for his cab to arrive, Blevins blathered on...."So that 
guy you were talking to.  That was Agent Fox Montague.  
He's gonna be your new partner."
     Dana thought she'd heard wrong.  "My partner?  No 
more scut work?  My partner.....will be SPOOKY?!"  
Everyone knew of Spooky.
     Blevins nodded.  "Yup!"
     "Just perfect," Dana thought.  "I've never had a 
partner. I bet we'll hate each other, or be split up down the 
road, or maybe I'll get to screw up the relationship......"
     And off in a dark corridor, a man lit up his cigarette 
and smiled.

               So it begins.

~fin~